CHECK OUT WHO'S WRITING...

Hola

In my six months of online dating, I have encountered some different types:

1.)  Instant Partner:  This is the kind of guy that has an initial contact with you and then (could be just a phone call) and then immediately assumes you are in a dating relationship.  This type will then text, email, call relentlessly when I am just trying to figure out if I really ever want to see them again.  And because they put on so much pressure up front, the answer would be "no."  A large subset of them are almost instantly upset that I am not jumping their bones on our first or second contact.  I'm sorry, did you read my profile because I really need to know up front that a person has half of a brain first!  Maybe it is a problem with reading skills and general aptitude overall, I really don't know.

2.)  Married Man:  I have been contacted several times (3 to be exact) by men who rapidly disclose they are only interested in a "physical relationship."  Even though my profile clearly had stated "long term relationship," not "disgusting hook up sex."  Then these guys figure that it is their project to lure you into this type of relationship with repeated emails and texting, pretty much all day long.  These are the kind of guys who claim that they are really independent, and that they don't need anything from a woman other than sex.  Independent?  Then why is your needy ass contacting me all day long?  Really, I have better things to do.  One guy emailed me almost continually for two days straight until I had the information I needed:  he indicated that I fit a "type," because I am (get this) a vegetarian and I actually volunteer in my community.  He knew my type, he thinks.  Hahaha.  Anyway, back on track...these guys are typically married.  They are so damn independent, that they are married with a wife to take care of all of their needs so they can go out and look for sex with various other women.  These narcissists are actually the most insecure and dependent of all!  One of my high school friends from Chicago actually fits this type:  he contacted me after many years, used the procedure described above and then disclosed that he was married.  Did he think that we don't have penises in Ohio?  Did he think I needed to find one in Illinois, seriously? 

3.)  You're Hot but oops I just realize I look like your grandfather...I have had several of these dates with older men.  During the date they clearly enjoy themselves and we are getting along.  But they are so insecure that they look older than me, they just can't get over it and they put on the "why would you be interested in me..." act.  So...if you are that insecure, NO, I'm not interested in you.  And that is that.  Now...if he had confidence and swept me off my feet like Humphrey Bogart or Clint Eastwood, we would have been just fine. 

4.)  "friend":  I have had several "friends" in this dating process...once some guy contacted me and I told him that I was just coming out of a bad relationship and I just wanted to be friends for a while.  He agreed.  Then we met and hung out, had a good time, etc.  I was moving, so he offered to help me but several days prior to this I texted him several times and he didn't text back.  I then emailed him and (nicely) said that I would prefer to move on my own because it would be kind of emotional for me anyway...blablabla, which was actually true.  He emailed me back questioning me on it, then literally never talked to me again.  What a great friend, so glad that we hung out!  Men don't want to be friends.  Really, they don't. 

Of course, there is my favorite category, but it only has one participant:  that's the kind of guy who turns out to already have a relationship with his drugs (oops, didn't tell me that in the beginning) and doesn't really need another one, but pretends to at first.  That was my favorite, and probably why I am on this site.  Some trust violations can leave real scars. 

A lot of these problems I think really boil down to a comprehension problem.  I write things about myself, and guys ignore it.  I say things to them about what I want, and they ignore it.  Example, I told my high school friend in our second contact that I don't date married men (didn't know he was), don't get into that mess and drama.  Did that stop him, oh no!  Comprehension problem. 

I recently moved to a new area and didn't know anyone so I thought I would try online dating. Amazingly the first guy I saw on there was exactly my type tall, dark haired, part Italian and we had loads of mutual interests. So we emailed, then texted and then called and it was great so I invited him round to my house. Again the chemistry was palpable, we only kissed but we arranged for him to come round again a couple of nights later. It was obvious we were gonna sleep together so we had been texting about what we liked. The first weird thing he said was 'can i keep my sunglasses on?' i really thought he was joking so i said yes, then he starts going on about how he wants me to make him bleed. i have very long nails so again assumed he was joking. So he comes round and after a few drinks we're getting down to it, we are both in our underwear and its getting pretty hot so i thought i would go down on him. OMG i took off his boxers and was faced with the tiniest penis i have ever seen. it was hysterical, but i had to go through with it, i couldnt be awful. so all in all i had very unsatisfying sex, with a man who wore sunglasses the whole way through, he some how ripped my new duvet cover and he got blood on them from making me scratch him so much. oh yeah and i had to take pics of he scratches for him to look at afterwards.

The only thing right about this guy was he works in law enforcement, everything esle about him is so wrong.  He stated off being the picture perfect type of guy, I met him onl ine.  We would chat it up off an on and he would send random text to me cell being sweet as could be.  That should of been my first clue that, "if that if he seems too good to be true that guard your heart".  For four weeks after meeting on line we tired to get together and have a first date, but things on his end kept putting the dates off.  He was alway apologetic and wanted to make it up somehow.  Until I finally gave in and made the 6 hour drive to see him for the weekend.  (second mistake~besided continuing to talk to him).  He was kind and at first we seemed ok with being able to hold our own with the conversation, but something still did not feel right to me at least and I did not follow my insticts. I ended up staying at his place with him and he was a gentleman the 48 hours I was in his presence.  Very attentive and kind but distant in a way his emotions seemed rehersed and shy at times.

He had to work that weekend but he told me we woud go ou to dinner the following night( Satuarday evening) in the mean time we got to know each other a bit more. He made a house key for me to use while I stayed at his place, yeah a key now why do that if you plan to dump me in the end??? This did not make any sense, nor did me staying at his place which was another stupid mistake on my part.  He told me all about his  love of horses( his horse who died Tobasco) and egals,  his daughter, his sister, his grandmother who raised him and other family members.  We talked about his time in the military and his stint with working at Sam's Club as a company manager and then his move to the Sheriffs Department in Louisiana where he works at the correctional facility.  OK so he seemed like the typical kind of guy with his head on straight what I failed to see was he was just using me to get to the next woman on his long list of conquest.  Now I am not sure what happened to him in his two marriages but I beleve he got hurt really badly by these women to the point that all he wants to do is find women, sleep with them and dump them hard as he did to me and the women before and after me.

Anyway he drove me from Louisiana to Texas (yeah across the stateline) to have dinner at this cheesey gas station restaurant, that should of given it all away right there.  He told me about a female co-worker who died along the highway as we were driving back to his place and how a woman was kiied at the local rest stop on the border of Texas and Lousiana.  He is heavy into talking about his job and the inmates he guards daily.  He is racially bias about homosexuals as he does not care or like them this was evident in how he talk about a particular inmate.  

He really did not have any interest in me what-so-ever he was in it for the sex (lesson learned).  That Sunday morning I got up, got dressed and left, he left for work and we sort of spoke that Monday evening when he called me then pretened that his phone battery life was dying.  Then his phone went dead and when I tried to call him back, he would not take my calls or even call me.  He had other women lined up for his next venture and they too are being fooled by this guy who had tons of accounts on tons of single sites where he is playing all of them for fools. His plan was to dump me from the get go only he was not man enough to call and tell me instead he opted for the dump and ignor tactic, which suited him well.  The truth is at first I was hurt but it has now been three weeks and i am over him, the fact that he did me a favor was the best thing.  His loss though he has no idea that I came from a very good background and I don't have to worry about my future it is already paved.

So here are some clues about Mr Wrong -He sends them all his email and phone number telling each one he wants to get to know them to text him and when they do they have entered the email of doom. He is very brief with his info and he does not want to judge him before you get to know him, cause he works in law enforcement.    He leads you on making you feel so loved and special, playing on all of your emotions and then once he get you he had his way and then he dumps you hard.  He likes single mothers, women with kids cause you are obligated to your kids and he knows you won't jepordize yourkids for a man, or will you?   Now I have his photo and I hope this helps the next girl out there, you should know his name I am not going to post that but if you have encountered this guy make sure you pass it on to your girls.  This guy is up to no good and he does intend to get what he wants and then dump you.

I still have that house key as a reminder never to let my heart lead in a relationship and to protect myself at all cost, and if you want more info you can send me a note, I will answer you.  Good luck and be safe.

It started with an email stating "you have been mutually matched " I was excited! I checked the website and saw a picture of a handsome man and we had so much in common by our profiles. Only downside was that he lived in another state two and a half hours away besides that everything was good. After having great conversations through messages on the website, emails and instant messenger we exchanged telephone numbers.

We would speak for hours on the phone about everything and anything. I started to really like him and he would tell me how much he liked me. After about a month and a half I asked him if he had any recent pictures of himself he said no. No problem! I liked him so much I let that go and kept talking to him.

I noticed after two months of talking on the phone when I would mention I was going out for a movie or hanging out with friends he would sound sad and the conversation would shift. Sometimes after running errands I would sign on instant messenger and have numerous amounts of messages from him. I discussed this with one of my friends and he told me leave it alone! he is very clingy! I dismissed it and kept talking to him. One day however I said I was stepping out and coming home a little late. He asked me if I can come home early and I replied to him "It might take me a long time getting home on the train so I dont wanna promise anything" he responded " I have to be important in your life too!" I was taken aback but once again I ignored it.

After three months of talking on the phone we finally decided to meet. The pictures that he had on his profile did not match what I saw. On the date he told me that the pictures were 2 years old (when he told me 1 year) and that he has had some women after showing up for the date just get up and leave. I was bothered because he lied to me and the fact that the pictures werent the only things he lied about. He would lie about anything. He was a pathological liar. 

After the date he started calling me 3 times a day, telling me he loved me. I told him that we should just stay friends. He agreed and everything was good until I send him a birthday e-card. He started saying he was tired of dating sites and that I was passing up a great guy. He started calling me a low life and telling me I would never amount to anything in my life to name a few. He even called me racial slurs and was sending me emails about how much he hated me.

After this blow out, the SAME DAY he actually called my house twice AND send me a message through the site I met him at. I could not believe it! I de-activated my profile and for now I do not think I will be doing online dating again.